Mossburn, Aotearoa New Zealand
April 25, 2021

Less Hard.

At the start of this year, I finished my two-year life plan, like I do every couple of years.

There were some great goals this time, things I'm really excited about pursuing.

But one stuck with me as particularly unexpected.

Be less hard.

As the pressures of life, a marriage, trying to make a career out of writing and whatever it is I do on the internet have pressed in, I've found myself shutting off, handling difficulty with thoughts instead of emotions. Pre-empting things that are going to hurt to feel, making up reasons not to engage fully.

It's normal, and natural. And I hate it.

I've always been a person whose strength come from my emotions. They allow me to understand the world, notice things worth paying attention to, make sense of life. In Myers-Briggs, I'm a strong INFJ. My intuitive, felt sense of the world is the foundation of my experience - and the further I get from it, the more calcified and brittle I feel.

Hardened arteries. Old rubber pipes. This is not how I want to age.

So this two year chunk, I decided to focus on changing all of that - making an effort each day to be vunerable, get out of my thoughts and into my emotions, and build habits based on engaging with the world-full hearted, no matter what it throws at me.

I've used it to push me to try new things, engage when I normally wouldn't, put my heart out there, and feel deeply as I've traveled around the country.

And after a couple months, you know what? It turns out to be a really, really great idea. It feels like me. Feels like home.

There's still a long way to go - maybe that's always true - but for the first time in a year or two, I finally feel like I'm heading in the right direction.

I wonder - how do you navigate the distance between your thoughts and emotions? Which guide you?

Have a felt week, -Steven

🔌.s Want to make your own two-year life plan? My course on doing just that is still available. I mean sure, it looks a little 2016 at this point, but the content is still just as good, I promise. :)

p.s. The best thing I read this week was and oldie but a goodie - I re-read Heart and Brain by The Awkward Yeti, and it is so, so good.

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